awe and the reversal of suffering...
let the majesty and glory of the world be shown to those whose eyes are open to see it…
It is of no surprise to me that this week, the week before and during Easter, Jesus has been omnipresent, his energy, his words and his love.
I have had a strong connection to the energy of Jesus since beginning my spiritual journey and one of the first things he spoke to me was the concept of separating him from my idea of religion. To see him as the energy of Jesus rather than the idea. His message and his teachings for me have come direct from him, his energy, not from some text or theology. He was there during healing sessions with my clients, he would show up in meditation for me. He guided me through the process of healing wounds associated with men. He guided me through the darkest hours when I thought there was no light left for me. He has always held the light. Always celebrated or been playful when things seemed hopeless or overwhelming. This week though he has been present with this message of awe.
Awe he speaks, is the reversal of suffering. When we are in sufferance, we turn inward, we close off, we see no reasonable path forward, and yet the moment we open our eyes to wonder, to magic, to awe, we see the majesty of all that surrounds us always. When he spoke of awe, vision after vision flooded my mind. My children, a sunrise, the way the light dances upon the water, awe in the moments, awe in nature, awe of the lyricist writing of love, awe of the deliciousness of food prepared for you, awe in the kindness of a stranger. All of these moments of awe, those perfect moments.
It was like the polaroids of my life flashing before me.
A simple thing that changed was every time I saw a plane in the sky, I would have pangs of ohhhh I wish that was me… and this changed with these visions to the awe of the excitement of those on the flight, the awe of those jetting off to see loved ones that had been separated, the sheer awe of humans figuring out how to put a tin can in the sky. How did we manage to do that? All of a sudden my feelings of lack or jealousy faded into sheer awe of human capability.
We as humans are magnificent by the sheer multitude of ways we can administer this feeling of awe and yet we can get caught up in focusing on what problems lay ahead or what is not going right.
If I am with my girls, and I stare at them for too long, I get caught up in this feeling of awe. My eyes fill with tears, I wonder how did these magnificent creatures come to me? How did they become so wise? So loving? So clever? I cannot look away and yet it shows me time and time again what the gift of presence brings us. It allows us to see all in a state of awe. For if I was caught up in my problems, my failings, my worries or troubles I would miss these moments of wonder. Everything is always changing and forever changing are me and my girls.
And yet every time, I experience awe just by seeing them.
I know why it is so easy for me to see them this way. I know I have in the past taken for granted my role as their mother.
I know that when I left for Mexico, I had no clue as to what our life would be like when I came back. I have spent more time away from them in the past couple of years than I have in their whole lives.
And so, our relationships now, are such a gift to me, I do not take a second for granted, and every moment I spend with them is precious. They are my focus, my legacy, the reason why I do what I do. I am beyond grateful for their love.
This is why the awe comes easily. When we open our eyes to see what stands in front of us, we realise how lucky we are to be alive, to be breathing, to have this chance.
Over the weekend I kept checking in with myself, and seeing how I was feeling after the past couple of weeks of personal upheaval. I feel good, came back to me every time. I was seeing the beauty of the clouds, the light at sunrise and sunset, the way my daughter looked in this light, her smile, her eyes, the way she is with the things and was just struck each time by awe. I was in complete awe just by being with her on our little adventure.
I then felt this awe turning inwards.
I became in awe of myself. I saw how I had created this feeling of awe outside of me, and now it was pouring into me. How many times can we say in our life that we are in awe of ourselves? There was no one particular thing, it was all of the pieces of a life lived. I am in awe of me right now and it feels amazing. I am humbled by who I am, what I have done, what I have faced and what I have been kind towards. I am in awe of my fearless heart, she knows what she knows and I trust her more than ever. When I have had fears and insecurities rise, she stands tall, and whispers, I know you are scared, but trust me. And I do.
Until you are shown what you can loose, or what you have lost, you sometimes do not see what is right in front of you.
You can’t break out of a prison until you know you’re in one, just as you cannot heal until you realise you are broken. So many of us in this life, so many that you see around you, have no idea of the prison that has been created around them or by them, so many do not see the healing they have access to. I always thought that my greatest healing occurred while I was by myself, deep in the Mexican jungle. And yet here I see, the greatest healing occurs when we are back in relationship, with our eyes open to awe.
Time and time again I have been shown the power of forgiveness, time and time again I have been shown the power of love. And now this power of awe has opened me up to my own state of awe.
This means, when led by my heart there are no missteps, there are pathways of learning and growing. There is no fear, as I know that I clearly see the love I have of myself. In the past I would make snap decisions and ferociously stick to them, now I see I can see how I feel day to day, week to week and keep a pulse on how I am feeling about a project, a conversation, a relationship. Open communication sees that my confidence has grown in being my own person, with my own needs, wants and desires. It feels as if the little boxes I have allowed others to place me in I am free of. I want all of your senses to come alive in every interaction we have, a sense of being within the garden of eden, where being in my energy, pleasure is opened for you. Feelings of the softest love, touches or holds you. A place of paradise, nirvana, a place of awe.
I was in meditation last week between clients and a vision opened for me. I have had a week of love, of loss and life, and emotions for me were many, varied and raw. Being of service meant I was digging deep every time to keep going. I had kept off socials, gave writing a break as this piece was coming through, gave everything that wasn’t necessary time off.
And the vision had me completely sure of myself once more.
I was shown an angelic figure, my higher self, a being of light, I wasn’t sure… and this figure was lifting me higher and higher. Rising above the trappings of emotions, rising above what others had placed upon me, rising up above the limitations or agreements I had made unknowingly, unconsciously.
I saw that none should be able to stake claim or shut down parts of me from their own fear or wounding. That by dismissing a part of me kept me small. It was as if the most powerful parts of me, my own garden of eden was being denied or shunned for the sake of others comfortability or fear of what it could be, if I was all, if I was in full expression, if I was my complete self. For far too long I have accepted the limitations others had placed on my relationships with them as some failing within me.
I had accepted others limitations without speaking of my own personal wants, needs or desires. I had accepted what was said to me as my truth also - and it was not.
I have had some amazing conversations with dear friends over the past few weeks and I know that they all created the pathway for this vision to come through. For if I am in awe of myself, I am in awe of every part and to deny its existence is leaving myself closed off to being in full expression.
Having personal access to me, I should be able to decide what feels right for me, I can lay stake or claim on what I desire. I want to ask why do you feel the need to deny parts of me for your own fears, timings or insecurities?
I do not choose to be defined by another if your projections or ideas of who I am do not fit my truth. And so I choose awe, for the simple reason as it reverses my sufferance. I no longer suffer when I see myself with awe. Higher than self love, higher than self trust, it is a humble faith in the majesty for which I see myself in the world.
My feelings and emotions are valid, and I am tender with my heart. My power expands as I lean on the strength I hold within. My softness leads me into conversations I no longer fear having. My voice holds a depth to which I have not recognised before now. My words written, show me how I can be in creation when in flow.
In a state of awe, for the state of awe.
Life is a gift, and we are a gift to those in our life. When we stand tall and say - this is me, and I love her, I cherish her, I am in awe of her, it changes our energy, it changes the way others see us. It allows for an honesty and truth to our experience here.
If I close my eyes and ask the energy of Jesus to speak into what I have shared here, I have this feeling of myself as a small child, looking to him with my hand held in his. As he looks upon me, he states that the energy of awe is that of the child seeing something for the first time. That wonderment and open eyes to the experience, to see yourself within awe in seeing yourself through the eyes of creator. For as the sun shines upon all, so too does the love of creator. No definitions of who you are, for you are forever changing as the light changes throughout the day. Be in flow with this feeling, and forever you shall be changed. Humility and a fearlessness as all can be different, new, seen for the first time.
This is the feeling of paradise, this is a new earth, and it all starts with us. Let’s open ourselves to awe, see it in the moments, see it reflected back within, feel that sense of presence. Truly, we are magnificent.
I love you x Nicole
I have had a conversation with a dear friend James McMillan all about Jesus, this is the first episode on our new podcast - the deep… if you would like to have a listen you can find it here
James & I share the view of bringing more love, more joy, more harmony to the world and our first podcast here together we decided to open up about our individual connections to Jesus. This is the first in a three part series, where we really get to go deep.
This first episode find out our beginnings of connection to Jesus, what role he plays in our lives and how we connect to the energy. Bonus… we find out more about each other along the way. A voyeurs journey peeping into how friends speak of consciousness when we peel back the curtain of our everyday mask.
Each week we will be covering all different aspects in the world of spirituality, creative expression, surfing, art and all the things that make us human.
‘if you own your story, none can shame you…’
welcome to the deep with nicole & james...
a dive into topics close to our hearts, stories of spirituality, surfing, art & what it means to be a creative in a world of chaos, and how we got here.
nicole forrest is a teacher of spirituality, meditation, consciousness and metaphysics; a channel and psychic medium with clients and students across the world. an avid surfer, mum, writer and poet, lover of love, good food and good music, she spends her days with sunrise, surfing and being of service.
connect with nicole via her website here -
https://www.nicolelovingearth.com/
connect with nicole on instagram here - https://www.instagram.com/nicole_loving_earth/