A forgotten memory of conversations, of lovers you couldn’t live without but somehow you do… moments captured within time somewhere but not your mind. Snapshots of nights out and afternoons spent like faded polaroids in the shoebox under the bed in the home that is no longer there.
What happens to our memories if we no longer remember them, if we are no longer here to remember? are those friends, those lovers who you thought would be part of your forever, the one you shared the loudest of nights, with whispers of secret longings down the deepest of alleys are to just fade into the night sky…
Every breath that has ever been drawn is still here, every secret that has ever been told is still here, every love that has ever been expressed is still here. If we tune to the great web and weave of consciousness, do we also connect to all memories, stories and secrets faded or new ?
If time and space are constructs and we can collapse all and everything and all is happening at once, then when we close our eyes we are taken back to that moment. Is this time travel? Is this the opening of telepathy? For if we can in an instant by a smell, a song, a place be transported back to a time and space that only exists from our perspective have we been overcomplicating something so simple? What if our minds are the great transporters of time travel?
Our memories are fallible. We construct story, attach emotions, put more energy onto one particular thing that was said or done, and from the others perspective they may have a completely different telling of the story. All of our experiences and our state of mind or emotion at the time inflect a narrative onto the experience.
What if we saw all the story, past experiences, past hurts as a layer of distortion that surrounds each of us. This layer that all of us carry. This layer is like a lens we see all current situations through. What if we could gather this distortion as wrap it up, dissolve it, clear it, then would we be shiny and new? Would we see the innocence of each situation as the pure loving moment it was intended to be?
Love is not scary, it’s easy. Love is not here to hurt you, it’s here to bring comfort. But what we sometimes do is see love through these layers of distortion. If we were to clear all this noise, what would we say? How would we be different? I spoke before of all the things we are afraid to say and with this piece I saw my own layer of distortion, all the things I told myself that were wrong, that wouldn’t work, that were going to hurt me. Keep silent, keep still, keep your secrets of your feelings as you know what has happened in the past, and so it may happen again. Insecurity, fear, all these trappings that kept me from speaking my truth. All these stories that I saw the present through. So, I gathered all this noise up, and pushed it to the side, was like right, you stay over there, I want to see how I really feel without all the past moments and memories of how it may turn out once more.
And all I was faced with was my true feelings, without fear. How my heart feels about what is going on. Without confusion, without distortion, without fear. Not only do I now see how perfect and wonderful this situation I find myself in, but looking back at my own timeline, there is a crisp or freshness to the past. It’s like from consciously deciding to let go of the distortion in my present has cleared it from my past also.
My heart holds no fear in speaking my truth. Timing is everything, and that past feeling of everything must be shared now now now slowly fades away. Timing for when is the right moment. Moments are all we have and the softness that I find myself in has shown me how love truly does heal. That love can and does save us, that love is not to be feared.
What if we have always held the key to love within our mind? If love and fear and the duality or polarity of each other, we always have the choice of where we operate from, and we have both within. Each of us have a combination of both love and fear. Our memories may hold a key into becoming more love. For where we focus our attention, this energy expands. And with our great inward resources, maybe just maybe we hold this information. We all search for love outside of ourselves for validation, for a sense of safety, protection, a sense of self or value. When we love ourselves more and more, we start changing our vibrancy, our frequency. We show others how we treat ourselves, and that energy is matched. If we look back to our past stories and experiences and focus on the energy around fear - insecurity, guilt, shame, blame - this is what expands and becomes our reality and where we see the world through this layer of distortion. If we focus on the past story and experiences of love, of joy, bliss, play, curiosity, passion, fulfilment, then these are the lenses we see our reality through now.
Try this… when there is a moment in your day you are feeling less than or have fear or insecurity rise, I want you to close your eyes and think of a moment of joy, of love, of bliss from your past. A time when you were feeling confident, carefree. Bring this energy to you and expand it. Play the song, eat the food, wear the dress, think of who was with you, expand it. Let the memory flood your awareness, hold the energy and let it fill your mind, your heart. Expand it some more. Ask this energy to be with you through your day. See how or if anything changes for you. Play with it.
Each day is different, each day will come with challenges, problems and each day will come with moments and experiences of joy and love. What we focus on, will always expand.
Love is infinite, love is the weave of consciousness, of flow state. We have always been love. It has just been a construct placed upon us, that we have placed to keep us small and fearing the great vibrancy that life can be.
If life is in the moments, the experiences, then I call for a life filled with love. Love in every moment. I expand this love that flows through me to clear this distortion once and for all. I’m tired of the distortion, I no longer require it, or need it. Clear, loving intent for every moment, clear, loving intent for all experiences, this and more x
I know who I am, and I know what I want - and I am not afraid to shout it from the mountain top.
love x Nicole
nicole is a writer & teacher of consciousness, spirituality & metaphysics; a gifted channel, akashic reader and energetic practitioner based in sydney, aus
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