the collective grief
the full moon and eclipse recap of energy that has been here the past week or so
what I have realised in the past little while is that my hot air balloon is about to take off, the fire is lit, the balloon full, the sun rising to greet me.
and all of the tethers I had placed upon myself, from fear, fear of losing people, fear of leaving others behind, I have gently released, cut away and freed myself from.
not all will understand, not all will still be there as I rise, not many have chosen to climb in the basket with me, some have preferred to stay as discarded tethers.
but this no longer is a fear. I was always meant to rise and the only thing ever holding me back was my own feeling and placement of these tethers.
I am free… and I welcome the rise, and the rising sun that greets me x
grief is a huge emotion for us, we experience grief with loss. loss of life, loss of a friendship or relationship, loss of our loved ones or what once was.
we all are experiencing forms of grief at the moment with our world events, it feels like our whole lifetime has been deeper levels of grief with each passing day… each passing year. we grieve and romanticise how simple life was before, how easy we used to have it. the forward steps in technology have allowed everything to be known in real time and it can be confronting, overwhelming and leave us feeling hopeless. we feel as if we have no right to feel our own emotions that come up with our trivial place in this world, we feel we should not have worries when we have experienced loss when so many others are going through extreme loss.
grief is palpable, and a feeling that has risen for me this week since the eclipse and full moon. with the huge release of energy, the last moments of completing my manuscript, with saying goodbye to past versions of me and tying the ribbon around it all, all I was left with was grief. and so I sat with my grief. grief for myself, for what had been lost, for what it all wasn’t, for what I had said no to. grief for those that were fighting, for those that had experienced far greater loss, for those that were in this nightmare up close and personal.
I should be celebrating me, celebrating completion and my greatest accomplishment so far, and instead I was grieving. it felt wrong to celebrate, it felt wrong to share elation. it felt wrong to be proud of myself. and so grief has sat with me, and once more, I asked the energy of grief to allow me to move through this.
grief is an expression of energy for how much love we have.
we grieve, because we love.
grief is the pendulum swing of love, and when we experience the loss, of a loved one, a relationship, a version of ourselves, we are saying goodbye to that love we felt. grief is the process of seeing how much capacity for love we have.
the measure of the grief is how deeply we loved. so my grief for the world and for myself, I want to slowly, slowly, bring this pendulum back to love. I want to understand that this process is the recognition of how much love I have and how deeply we all feel things. I ask my love to surround my grief, to cushion it, to soften it, to wrap my grief completely in love. it’s like this feeling of moving slower, with more purpose, to know each of us are going through something right now, each of us are trying to make sense of what is happening and how to express ourselves.
I am showing myself compassion and love, and wanting to show others the same. our emotions and feelings can be heightened around the full moon, and so clarity and kindness are important to lean on rather than reaction. speaking clearly your truth from a place of love, and knowing who your people are in times of need. asking for help is something I have been working on, and this week I have been able to speak my truth, know my process of retreating for the time I need, and the asking for help when I am ready to do so. we are not supposed to be alone with our grief, though knowing your process and knowing how to understand why grief is here for you is to feel. to feel deeply, to learn more about your process and what brings you comfort in these times.
and if you have these overwhelming feelings of grief, it may be compared to your immense capacity for love… you may be clearing others grief, clearing collective grief. know that this is not yours to hold on to, you can allow grief to pass through you softly, gently, with the help of love.
I want this world to be filled with love, for all to experience love, for all to feel loved. I want this for myself also, and my knowing that my grief is an expression of that love allows the ease of pace to bring it back to love. allows those feelings of grief to slowly alchemise and transmute back to love, the divine and pure form.
I see these writings to be an expression of what comes up for me, and the collective, so I invite you to comment, to share, to feel safe in doing so. together we are here to help each other, together we are here to bring more love x
i love you x nicole
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November is an elegiac month for me, as I recall the grief from the passing of my partner, Lane on November 15, 2010. Thank you for writing this beautiful, heartfelt post. 🙏❤️